Yosef Goell wrote:
There are apologists for Yosef and Shas, such as Labor Party Minister Shlomo Ben-Ami and Ha'aretz correspondent Daniel Ben-Simon, both impressively modern men of Moroccan origin, who argue that non-Sephardim simply do not understand the meaning of the innocent code words used in Yosef 's discourses with his followers. They claim that they are mere alternative folklore.
Thank you Mr. Goell. Thanks for letting the JP readership know that there are "impressively modern men of Moroccan origin." I'm sure that most of them thought that they were all primitive Likud supporters and Betar Yerushalayim fanatics, who never went to an IPO concert in their life! Not to mention the fact that you don't find many of them among the enlightenned at the Shalom Achshav rallies.
Yossi Beilin is right. How long will the normal, hard working, tax-paying Israeli have to support those black-hatted bandits who reproduce like rabbits? When will the government lend a hand to the modern Israel yeled vakelev (1 child, 1 dog) family. The price of dog food is on the rise. And let me tell you, it costs me a bundle to send my dog to a kennel when my wife and I are travelling abroad(at least twice a year). Enough of this anachronistic Zionist nonsense of trying to promote large families! If the only ones who benefited from it were our peace loving Arab-Israeli-Palestinian neighbors I would have been quiet. After all, we are dedicated to their economic well-being. Unfortunately, a lot of this money goes to knitted-kippah-wearing enemies of peace. Let's get rid of these payments and find other ways to channel money to the Arab sector.
That's all for now. I got to pick my dog up from the kennel.
It's about time that the Jewish People did something for the Chinese. Finally, we have a chance to pay the Chinese back for all the good that they have done for us. I'm sure that some of the readers do not know what I mean. I'm talking about Chinese food! It's no secret that the Jews love Chinese food. We've been downing egg rolls, fried rice, and chow mein for years. Did anybody bother to say to the Chinese People "Thank you?" Even the enemies of peace can be seen gorging themselves on Chinese food in their kasher lemehadrin restaurants in Jerusalem. What did the Americans give us? Hamburgers and hotdogs! It gives me great pride as a Jew and as an Israeli to show my appreciation to the Chinese People.
The CHURCH OF RABIN AND PEACE strongly condemns the decision of Tel Aviv Magistrate's court. Were not the defendants involved in the honorable post-Zionist enterprise of making a buck? So what if a few people lost their lives! How many people have lost their lives because of the Oslo Accords? Did this stop our master Rabin from raking in $300,000 in Nobel Prize money? Are the architects and engineers of the Oslo Accords also going to be tried and sent to jail? Of course not! Dear judges, with the stock market in such a bad situation we have more important things to worry about! Stop persecuting people whose only crime is that they wanted to make some money!
That's all for now. I got to sell my stocks before Passover.
Tamar Hausman reported:
"From sundown tonight until sunrise tomorrow, all cafes, cinemas, discos, sports facilities, restaurants, bars, kiosks, and stores will be closed by law. Only hotels and guest houses are allowed to operate their restaurants and cafes. Cafes and restaurants will be open tomorrow, but all other places of entertainment will be shut."
I ask: Is this not a vulgar form of coercion? If I want to go to a disco or see a movie why should I be forced to stay at home because some zekenim want to wail about what happened over 50 years ago? And what about the Arab sector? It is well known that the Arabs helped Hitler! Do they also have to close their restaurants? This reminds me of all the things that the dosim do to make my life miserable. I want to dance, I want to sing, I want to drink a few beers, I want to party, I want to live! Enough coercion! Live and let live!
The spiritual advisory council of THE CHURCH OF RABIN AND PEACE has awarded honory membership to Ms. Tallie Lipkin-Shahak. Ms. Lipkin-Shahak, the wife of Minster(what is he minister of anyway?) Lipkin-Shahak, in her article "ON TARGET: An extreme alliance" was indeed on target. Her dehumanization of the enemies of peace is most consistent with our tenets of faith, as well as her blaming the enemies of peace for Rabin's murder. In addition, she rightly points out that their Zionist principles are anachronistic. Indeed, we cannot say that our generation lacks people of faith when we have people like Ms. Lipkin-Shahak around. Ms. Lipkin-Shahak, at this rate, you will be eligible for sainthood soon. Best regards to your husband, the Minister of ????? and to his friends(?) in the "Center Party."
THE CHURCH OF RABIN AND PEACE (12 May 2000)
How ironic is the behaviour of the 19 year old settler from Kibbutz Kfar Haruv in occupied Syria who 'told a large group of yeshiva students that "religious Jews are responsible for all the nation's problems" and "it's a shame you weren't all wiped out in the Holocaust."' Although I am sure that there are many that agree with him, he himself is a settler on occupied land, a veritable obstacle on the way to the peace with the brave and reliable leader of Syria, Hafez Assad shlita. Talk about calling the kettle black! Indeed, "the kibbutz is in need of serious soul searching."
That's all for now. I got to go to the black market to buy some dollars to spend in the Jericho Casino.
The chimes of peace are ringing! The automatic weapons that we gave to our peace loving friends are singing The Song of Peace. The bullets being fired from them are ripping holes in the bodies of our soldiers! This helps our peace loving leaders to hand over more land! Now the bells of peace will sound forth from Abu Dis, Eizariya, and Suwahra. Gunshots will once again mingle with the calls of the muezzin in the outskirts of Jerusalem, the united capital of Israel for eternity bla, bla, bla. You got to love peace! Another benefit of giving guns to our peace loving friends is that they fired shots into Bet El, a well known stronghold of the enemies of peace. That'll teach them a lesson for being Zionists in the age of post-Zionism!
That's all for now. I got to go buy a shachpatz(bullet-proof vest).
Carl Appelbaum (24 May 2000)
The Church of Rabin And Peace congratulates the Israeli Government and the Israeli Defense Force on the successful withdrawl from Lebanon. This withdrawl, well planned and well executed, showed the world the the Israeli enlightened public will do what is best for itself. Kol HaKavod LeTzahal! With regards to the residents of Kiyat Shemona, who probably vote for the Likud, we could not care less. Let them crawl underground into their bomb shelters like rats into a sewer pipe! No longer will children from Ramat Aviv, Herzliya, Haifa, or Eilat risk their lives for the residents of the North. As for the SLA and their families we have one thing to say: Suckers! Since you decided to form an alliance with the Jews, now you must learn to live like Jews: in exile! We'll find you a few apartments in Israeli Arab villages where our local, loyal Israeli Arabs will look upon you as traitors. Ha, ha, ha! That'll teach you a lesson for trusting the Jews!
Carl Appelbaum (29 May 2000)
The Church of Rabin And Peace sheds tears for Israel's first post-Zionist president, Ezer Weizman, who has decided to resign. But now that it is politically correct to suggest a new candidate for the presidency, we would like to see MK Dr. Ahmed Tibi as Israel's next president. We cannot say that we have truly abandoned the chauvanistic foundations of Zionism as long as the door of the president's office remains locked to those who are not of the Hebrew persuasion. Dr. Tibi is educated, multi-lingual, and can speak to both Jews and Arabs in their mother tongue. We implore all Knesset members to rally behind our candidate. All we are saying, is give Ahmed a chance!
Carl Appelbaum (12 Jun 2000)
The Church of Rabin And Peace applauds the destruction of antiquities by the Wakf on the Temple Mount. Moreover, we applaud the apathy of Minister Haim Ramon and Prime Minister Ehud Barak regarding this matter. This is all consistent with our agenda: to remove anything and everything that has a connection to Judaism from our public landscape, to transform Israel from a "Jewish State" to a "state of its citizens." Mr. Barak, please continue to ignore the Wakf's actions, and pay no heed to those crybaby archeologists. Any intervention on your part will have a negative effect on the holy peace process.
You got to love peace!
Carl Appelbaum (13 Jun 2000)
The Church of Rabin And Peace would like to thank Herb Keinon for reiterating one of the principles of our faith: that all those who vocally opposed our master Rabin's policies were responsible for his assassination. We even have a mantra regarding this theme on our web site: "Right wing incitement created the political atmosphere that led to Rabin's assassination." (repeat this until you really believe it).
There are those who think the unthinkable. We at the Church of Rabin And Peace prefer not to think at all. We let the journalists think for us.
Thanks Herb, and keep up the good work!
You got to love peace! You got to love Israeli journalism!
Copyright 2000 by The Church of Rabin And Peace.
All rights reserved.