One must understand that when ordinary citizens get wounded, maimed, or killed, we should not feel bad. After all, these are the "sacrifices of peace." Only when someone important gets killed like our master Yitzchak Rabin, we must cry and hold memorial services. We must observe his "yortzeit" not once but at least twice a year. Therefore, the press is acting properly by not emphasizing terrorist attacks.
Well, well, well! The enemies of peace have found more prey to sink their claws into: Suha Arafat. They do not understand that in order for peace to arrive we must ignore all Arab provocations and treaty violations. This is what Rabin taught us, and we shall walk in his ways.
We must do everything for peace! If this means flooding Israel with
the descendants of Arabs who fled in 1948, so be it. We have already proved
that nothing can stand in our way: Using the GSS to discredit the right
wing, making deals with murderers, abandoning settlers, abandoning Arab
informers etc. Way to go Yossi Katz! Rabin would have been proud!
Let's get rid of the Golan!
Start ripping those settlements down!
Take those Jews and ram 'em and jam 'em into Gush Dan!
Ehud Barak, what a man!
Was it not our great master Rabin who first understood that the Golan Heights settlers and their supporters were just a bunch of propellers, spinning around and making a lot of wind? All of the propellers will one day wear themselves out. Do they not understand that the entire Israeli media is already brainwashing the public and conning them into accepting any agreement that Barak makes with the Syrians? To quote our great master, "Let them spin around like propellers"! And the enlightened shall rejoice as we destroy settlements and make the Golan Judenrein! Dammit, I can't wait to be the first Israeli to vacation in Damascus!
In our era of post-Zionism, land is important only to primitive Palestinians and knitted-kipah-wearing-nitwits. Nowadays the stock market is king and economic prowess the lone indicator of success.
President Assad and family must be admired for being the leading drug pushers in the Middle East. They see more money in a day than most of us will see in a lifetime.
No doubt that one of the benefits of peace will be lower drug prices in Israel. From now on, we can expect a greater availability of drugs for all economic sectors.
I'm sure that the enemies of peace will claim that drugs are harmful to society. But think of all great artists that were addicts! Was it not John "Cold Turkey" Lennon who taught us our mantra "Give Peace a Chance?" Do the enemies of peace have anyone in their camp who can play guitar like Hendrix? Or for that matter sing like Jim Morrison? The appearence of an Israeli Lennon-Hendrix-Morrison is only a matter of drugs being readily available. No longer will we be "a nation that dwells alone" but a true contributor to Western culture.
Prime Minister Barak is correct for praising Assad. Assad is the epitomy of the post-Zionist dream!
Enemies of peace, please wake up! The post-Zionist era has arrived. Values like the land of Israel, Torah, the People of Israel, etc. are old fashioned and cannot be upheld in the face of the "everyone for himself" attitude that pervades among the enlightened public.
There is a lot of cheap labor to be exploited in the neighboring Arab countries. Are you going to deny Israeli businessmen the opportunity to make millions because of a couple of cows on the Golan? Why in the world would anybody open up a factory in Shlomi when the price of labor is so cheap in Syria? Are you going to deny us the pleasure of spending our vacation dollars in Syria and not in the Galilee? Do you know how many travel agents are holding their breath, just waiting for the opportunity to arrange "Syria, Lebanon, and Israel in three days" package deals?
Are you going to deny Ehud Barak the pleasure of pocketting hundreds of thousands of dollars of Nobel Prize money like our master Rabin did? You should all be ashamed of yourselves!
The Israeli role model of today is not Judah the Macabee or Yosef Trumpeldor or even Yoni Netanyahu. Today's role model is Shylock!
President Weitzman is the right man in the right place at the right
time: Israel's first post-Zionist president!
THE CHURCH OF RABIN AND PEACE (29 Dec 1999)
A half-hour ride from Jerusalem,
We entered Bet El,
Not looking for Jacob's ladder,
Only for his PC.
Brave and proud warriors,
200 strong and armed to the teeth,
With a holy mission,
To silence the enemies of peace.
They fell before us,
Like wheat before the reaper,
We destroyed their studios with joy,
an broke their bones without compassion.
Sing a song of victory,
For Barak, Ben-Ami, and Rubenstein,
Brave soldiers in the struggle,
To bring peace and democracy.
Ezer, please don't resign!
You are our leader, the example of post-Zionism at its best. You realize that the State of Israel is just a vehicle to make money, and if this can be done by tearing down settlements, then so be it. Your ability to lie through your teeth is endearing and quite educational. I urge you to continue to exploit the Jewish State and the Jewish People in every way possible. Remember, you are our role model!
THE CHURCH OF RABIN AND PEACE ( 5 Jan 2000)
Tel Aviv! Gird your loins with sackcloth! The enemies of peace are invading the holy city on Monday to hold a "demonstration." Our experience of the past teaches us that there will be a lot of incitement with anti-democratic slogans like "I am with the Golan", "The nation is with the Golan", etc. If this were all then I would have been silent. But they are holding the demonstration in Rabin Square! Yes, the very same place where the kippah-wearing-law-student-from-Bar-Ilan-who-didn't-wear-his-kippah shot our master (and it is forbidden to believe any theories that someone other than the kippah-wearing-law-student-from-Bar-Ilan-who-didn't-wear-his-kippah shot our master, and whoever does is a full-fledged heretic!). Because of this I cry! This is a disaster for Tel Aviv, even worse than when Rabbi Amnon Yitzchak appeared at Heichal Hatarbut.
Dizengoff Street drunkards please wake up! It starts out as a demonstration and it ends as a disaster. Maybe some of the settlers will decide to settle here in our midst! Maybe they will open a synagogue or a yeshiva or a mikva. There goes the neighborhood!
Let us defend our homes and our children before it is too late!
THE CHURCH OF RABIN AND PEACE ( 7 Jan 2000)
Let's Rejoice! We got rid of 5% of the Land of Israel.
Another day of happiness for the Church of Rabin And Peace. 5% of the West Bank was turned over to the PA. Painful concessions? Ha, ha, ha! Did you see anybody cry? Even the enemies of peace are too busy with the Golan to shed a tear! Way to go, Ehud. You sure knew how to divert their attention! They don't even seem to be aware that you are in the middle of dividing Jerusalem. I can't wait to see the face of all the Shas and Agudah supporters in Ramat Shlomo and Ramot the day that they will wake up and see the PLO flag flying in their face! Then these lice-infested-parasites will ask us for "police protection" and a "strong army presence." Then we'll tell them, "Go say some Tehillim." Ha, ha, ha!
That's all for now. I have to check to see how my stocks are doing.
THE CHURCH OF RABIN AND PEACE (11 Jan 2000)
I don't understand how The Jerusalem Post and Channel Two News here in Israel can claim that there were 250,000 people at the demonical demonstration that was held by the enemies of peace yesterday. After all, the distinguished New York Times reported that there were only about 100,000 Israelis! That's a big difference! NY Times reporter DEBORAH SONTAG also added that the crowd was made up of "...scores of busloads of yeshiva students, Golan residents and retired Russian immigrants." In other words, good, productive, enlightened, and peace-seeking people were not to be found there. I guess the "Middle-Israelis" stayed at home to watch TV, check their stocks, or went to the casino in Jericho.
That's all for now. I want to go take a dip in Ezer's private swimming pool.
Copyright 1999 by The Church of Rabin And Peace.
All rights reserved.